omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
