I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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