member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
