you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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