tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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