My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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