but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
