why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
