that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
