He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
