Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
