Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just pynch a tree in the face
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
