If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
