It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
