I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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