so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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