I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
