thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
