OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
