last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
