My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
