this boner is exhausting
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
