Do you still have your period?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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