I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
