Me too!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
