I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
