They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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