I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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