We should be called the Road Head Warriors
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
