I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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