If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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