I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
