You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
