Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
