babies were throwing up all over the place
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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