the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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