oh god the rape fog is back!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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