Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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