awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
