how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
