as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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