Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
