I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
