Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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