You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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