I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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