Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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