just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Terrible idea I love it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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