Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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