now i know why i became what i already was.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
