i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
