I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
