Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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