Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I love having hate sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
