I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize