I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize