Already got asked if we're dating
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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