i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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